Monday, December 24, 2007

Copy Pasta

Taken from a forum I browse:

II. The Empire

We do not yet know the exact how's and why's, but we do know this: At some point between the end of Episode II and the beginning of
Episode IV, the Republic is replaced by an Empire. The first hint comes in "Attack of the Clones," when the Senate's Chancellor Palpatine is granted emergency powers to deal with the separatists. It spoils very little to tell you that Palpatine eventually becomes the Emperor. For a time, he keeps the Senate in place, functioning as a rubber-stamp, much like the Roman imperial senate, but a few minutes into Episode IV, we are informed that the he has dissolved the Senate, and that "the last remnants of the Old Republic have been swept away."

Lucas wants the Empire to stand for evil, so he tells us that the Emperor and Darth Vader have gone over to the Dark Side and dresses them in black.

But look closer. When Palpatine is still a senator, he says, "The Republic is not what it once was. The Senate is full of greedy, squabbling delegates. There is no interest in the common good." At one point he laments that "the bureaucrats are in charge now."

Palpatine believes that the political order must be manipulated to produce peace and stability. When he mutters, "There is no civility, there is only politics," we see that at heart, he's an esoteric Straussian.

Make no mistake, as emperor, Palpatine is a dictator--but a relatively benign one, like Pinochet. It's a dictatorship people can do business with. They collect taxes and patrol the skies. They try to stop organized crime (in the form of the smuggling rings run by the Hutts). The Empire has virtually no effect on the daily life of the average, law-abiding citizen.

Also, unlike the divine-right Jedi, the Empire is a meritocracy. The Empire runs academies throughout the galaxy (Han Solo begins his career at an Imperial academy), and those who show promise are promoted, often rapidly. In "The Empire Strikes Back" Captain Piett is quickly promoted to admiral when his predecessor "falls down on the job."

And while it's a small point, the Empire's manners and decorum speak well of it. When Darth Vader is forced to employ bounty hunters to track down Han Solo, he refuses to address them by name. Even Boba Fett, the greatest of all trackers, is referred to icily as "bounty hunter." And yet Fett understands the protocol. When he captures Solo, he calls him "Captain Solo." (Whether this is in deference to Han's former rank in the Imperial starfleet, or simply because Han owns and pilots his own ship, we don't know. I suspect it's the former.)

But the most compelling evidence that the Empire isn't evil comes in "The Empire Strikes Back" when Darth Vader is battling Luke Skywalker. After an exhausting fight, Vader is poised to finish Luke off, but he stays his hand. He tries to convert Luke to the Dark Side with this simple plea: "There is no escape. Don't make me destroy you. . . . Join me, and I will complete your training. With our combined strength, we can end this destructive conflict and bring order to the galaxy." It is here we find the real controlling impulse for the Dark Side and the Empire. The Empire doesn't want slaves or destruction or "evil." It wants order.

None of which is to say that the Empire isn't sometimes brutal. In Episode IV, Imperial stormtroopers kill Luke's aunt and uncle and Grand Moff Tarkin orders the destruction of an entire planet, Alderaan. But viewed in context, these acts are less brutal than they initially appear. Poor Aunt Beru and Uncle Owen reach a grisly end, but only after they aid the rebellion by hiding Luke and harboring two fugitive droids. They aren't given due process, but they are traitors.

The destruction of Alderaan is often cited as ipso facto proof of the Empire's "evilness" because it seems like mass murder--planeticide, even. As Tarkin prepares to fire the Death Star, Princess Leia implores him to spare the planet, saying, "Alderaan is peaceful. We have no weapons." Her plea is important, if true.

But the audience has no reason to believe that Leia is telling the truth. In Episode IV, every bit of information she gives the Empire is willfully untrue. In the opening, she tells Darth Vader that she is on a diplomatic mission of mercy, when in fact she is on a spy mission, trying to deliver schematics of the Death Star to the Rebel Alliance. When asked where the Alliance is headquartered, she lies again.

Leia's lies are perfectly defensible--she thinks she's serving the greater good--but they make her wholly unreliable on the question of whether or not Alderaan really is peaceful and defenseless. If anything, since Leia is a high-ranking member of the rebellion and the princess of Alderaan, it would be reasonable to suspect that Alderaan is a front for Rebel activity or at least home to many more spies and insurgents like Leia.

Whatever the case, the important thing to recognize is that the Empire is not committing random acts of terror. It is engaged in a fight for the survival of its regime against a violent group of rebels who are committed to its destruction.

III. After the Rebellion

As we all know from the final Star Wars installment, "Return of the Jedi," the rebellion is eventually successful. The Emperor is assassinated, Darth Vader abdicates his post and dies, the central governing apparatus of the Empire is destroyed in a spectacular space battle, and the rebels rejoice with their small, annoying Ewok friends. But what happens next?

(There is a raft of literature on this point, but, as I said at the beginning, I'm going to ignore it because it doesn't speak to Lucas's original intent.)

In Episode IV, after Grand Moff Tarkin announces that the Imperial Senate has been abolished, he's asked how the Emperor can possibly hope to keep control of the galaxy. "The regional governors now have direct control over territories," he says. "Fear will keep the local systems in line."

So under Imperial rule, a large group of regional potentates, each with access to a sizable army and star destroyers, runs local affairs. These governors owe their fealty to the Emperor. And once the Emperor is dead, the galaxy will be plunged into chaos.

In all of the time we spend observing the Rebel Alliance, we never hear of their governing strategy or their plans for a post-Imperial universe. All we see are plots and fighting. Their victory over the Empire doesn't liberate the galaxy--it turns the galaxy into Somalia writ large: dominated by local warlords who are answerable to no one.

Which makes the rebels--Lucas's heroes--an unimpressive crew of anarchic royals who wreck the galaxy so that Princess Leia can have her tiara back.

I'll take the Empire.

Jonathan V. Last is online editor of The Weekly Standard.
Long live the Empire, bitches.

Saturday, December 22, 2007

Hwhell hello...

An interesting twist of fate presented itself to me the other day. But first, some backstory is required.

Rewind with me, if you will, a few years back in my pathetic nerdy existance. I was about 15, and obsessed with the pop-punk band MxPx. I frequented the band's message boards daily, and there I met a very nice girl by the name of Lacey. She e-mailed me from time to time, and the friendship grew quickly until our day just wasn't complete without spending an hour or so talking to eachother about anything and everything. She was different from any other girls I knew; she was smart, humble, pretty, trustworthy, and consistent in her good nature. I came to value her friendship greatly, and we became very close over the years despite living thousands of miles apart.

One day, as I knew it would inevitably happen, a boy asked her out. His name was Joel, and he seemed to be an alright guy. I congratulated them and even tried to make friends with him since we both shared a strong interest in performing music. This was, however, the beginning of a very bad experience.

I discovered that he was the angry, jealous type, and he demanded that I not even be allowed to speak to Lacey ever again, for he feared she had an interest in me. I explained to him that Lacey and I were just friends, that I supported their relationship, and that, to be fair, I was friends with her before he even knew her.

Well, he went straight to her and demanded that she never speak to me again if she wanted their relationship to continue. I tried to talk to him about it again, but he simply replied with "I'm sorry, I can't let your friendship continue."

Excuse me? You can't what?

Needless to say, I was rather annoyed by his rampant jealously.

Lacey still e-mailed me however, explaining that she still wanted to be friends, that she loved me, and that we would speak again some day.

I respected her wishes entirely and knew that she still cared, so I vowed to wait for that day when we could speak again.

Of course, Joel made sure to rub the situation in my face, and told me that she had blocked me and cared nothing about my friendship.

Fast forward in time a bit, and every year I continue to receive a handful of e-mails from Lacey. She says that Joel still refuses to let her talk to me, but that she's doing it anyway and just wants to remind me that she still thinks about me all the time and that she wonders how I'm doing.

I only respond to these e-mails at her discretion, and continue to respect their relationship. We end up sending several essay-long e-mails back and fourth at times, and the joy of our friendship is still there exactly how it was years ago, as if we never stopped talking. Of course, Joel is oblivious to all of this and thinks that we haven't spoken at all. Still, we keep these e-mails to a minimum out of respect for his wishes, and we often go for several months without talking.

Now, fast forward to just a few days ago, more than five years after this all began, and I receive another e-mail from Lacey. She tells me that she thinks Joel is about to ask her to marry him in less than a week, and she tells me that she's feeling very unsure about it. She doesn't know if she wants to marry him, and she has no one else to go to for advice.

Well, isn't that an interesting twist of fate? After he was so blatantly rude and horrible to me all those years ago not even letting me speak with her, I could very well be the deciding factor in whether or not he gets to marry her now?

Too sweet... my evil side cackles. I could completely screw this guy over and give him exactly what's been coming to him all these years. It's almost too delicious to be true.

She tells me about all the little things about him that she can't stand (about 10+ long paragraphs worth) and then a very small assortment of major things that she still loves about him. At the end she asks me, "Should I marry him?"

I read her e-mails over and over again, and we go through each of her concerns individually. As it turns out, most of the things she hates about him are small, liveable pet peeves that all relationships will no doubt have. Sadly for me, he's actually quite a good guy. He works hard, he treats her like a princess for the most part, they have wonderfully compatable values and lifestyles, and they've been together for over four years happily.

I simply cannot tell her not to marry him, because I know for a fact that I wouldn't have a hope of being as good a boyfriend as he's been to her. Despite my taste for revenge, I just can't destroy a good potential marriage over it. I tell her that I think she should marry him.

Since then we've continued to talk, and it's only been a few days. He hasn't asked yet, but it is most likely coming by the end of the week. It sounds like she's going with my advice and accepting.

The thing that makes it all okay for me is this, quoted from one of her e-mails:

"Mark, thank you. I want you to know that you always have and always will have a place in my heart."

I think that qualifies for...

+15 Light Side points for me!

I'll update in a week or so on whether or not they decide to wed.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Christmas

It sucks. Lies upon lies (Looking @ you, X-mas i.e. Christmasv2.0), but who's to complain with all these low, low prices?

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

This Pie is Cold

So I had it checked. And as it turns out, my enthusiasm wanes quickly. Boo to me.

But never fear, loyal reader(s?), I won't soon let this thing die. At least, I can't now, what with two new additions to the roster. Thanks a lot, you two. But in all seriousness, welcome aboard Ether/Invin. ^_^

Early this morning, my pa and I packed up the horses and mozied on down to the nearest city to do some Christmas shopping. Well, we didn't really take any horses, but I'm spending the three-and-a-half-week break from school back home in Horse's Hoof, Idaho, and there's quite the mess o' horses here. (Actually, it's not called Horse's Hoof, but it looks like a town that might be). Yes, we went one week before Christmas day; and, no, I didn't put any thought into it until I got to the city. Still, my failure to plan posed little hindrance to my commercial efforts. We got out of there a few hours ago, and even arrived home in time to catch an episode of Just Shoot Me. (Actually, that's not true either, but if there's any show I could pick to watch that I don't watch now, it'd be Just Shoot Me. Mr. Spade slays me.)

Following my train of thought as it careens off the track and spirals down into the rocky cliffs below, let's talk about bad movies. Namely, bad sequels. Even more . . . uhm, namely . . . let's talk about American Pie Presents: Beta House. Now, as much as I would hate to watch the original American Pie, or any of its immediate sequels, with, say, my aunt, I'd be lying if I said it didn't have its moments. But those movies had two key ingredients that made them successes, which are noticeably lacking in Beta House. Namely (I'm up to the N's in the dictionary!), the all-important element of dramatic tension, and the original freaking characters. In this--what, the fifth?--rendition of the Pie series, the main character is a Stifler. And his older (cousin?) who helps him along in the trials and tribulations of pledging the Beta House fraternity is also a Stifler. And the main character/cousin duo in the movie before this, The Naked Mile, was . . . wait for it . . . also a pair of Stiflers. But for all these Stiflers running about, you won't see a single frame of Jim, Oz, or Finch in Beta House. (Jim's goofy father stays on as a gimmick. Hurray.) And the film's dramatic tension was pretty much the main character getting over his premature--um, issues--with his girlfriend for half the movie, and this not-too-exciting contest for charterhood between the Betas and the Geek house for about the last third. And, yes, an official Geek house on campus is a stretch, for any screenplay.

So, pretty much, don't spend your money to see this movie. It's got a laugh or three, but all in all it's not worth your time.

Although, I suppose if you were really concerned about how you spent your time, you wouldn't have wasted it reading this mental spew. ^_^

(I'm starting on the S's next week!)

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Can I shwank a post?

Alas I shall put my writing skills to the test alongside my fellow masters of the English/nerd language. With any luck, it shall not be made of fail, but rather win. Lots of win. I apologize in advance for the length. No, really. This is bloody long.

Tomorrow I embark upon a four hour journey to my band's next show, at the Lyric Theatre in Swift Current Saskatchewan (Saskatchewan being the barren province just nextdoor to mine). We're playing with Means, which my bandmates tell me are a pretty big deal. Being a metalhead I have no idea, but I'll take their word for it.

A few nights ago there was quite a bit of tension at band practice, and though I didn't realize it at the time, it really affected me quite deeply and brought about some ugly emotions I didn't know I had. See, we were just about to start, when Travis and Brandon said they weren't really wanting to practice until we sorted some things out. I assumed it was some minor show date issues or something of the like, but two hours or so of tense arguing later I wished I hadn't even gotten out of bed that morning.

Travis and Brandon opened by stating that we had all become prideful and were no longer even a Christian band anymore, but that we did everything for ourselves and had no ministry whatsoever. To say the least, that hurt a bit, because I had put every part of myself into the band for years and felt very proud of the progress we'd made. They said that all of our youtube videos, bios, and other media should be trashed and replaced with new ones that would always have mention of Jesus and prayer somewhere in them. I spent several hours on each and every one of those videos, and managed most of the content myself, so that was also difficult to take, especially since I had just finished the last one less than a week ago. They also said that we should no longer accept compliments after shows, but claim that it was all Jesus (difficult to take, since I practice 10-20 hours per week not even counting band practices).

Looking back, I can see that these were all good suggestions, but the delivery was extremely harsh. They repeated their distaste over and over again, despite my defense in saying that our videos should show who we really are and that we shouldn't be trying to show everyone what amazing Christians we must supposedly be. The worst part was that I was the only band member not in agreeance about the changes.

According to Travis, unless we could all come to an agreement (read: me change my mind), he "couldn't go on with the band".

That scared me, since the band is literally my focus in every day of my life. I've been in it for nearly three years now, and I've invested most of my time and money over those years.

To sum it all up, I was rattled more deeply than I thought possible. Sparing the details, the arguing was so subtle, so tense and loaded, it just really, really hurt. I tried to shrug it off, but couldn't even sleep that night. I laid awake in bed drifting in and out of conciousness while feeling threatened and panicked. It seemed as though the very core of my pride had been stabbed; I had never felt so defensive and hurt for such a long period that I could remember.

It may seem petty or insignificant, but as a person who rarely feels emotional about anything, I knew that a deep nerve had been hit. But even then I didn't realize how badly.

The next day I attended bible study as I usually do, and, to my amazement, shortly after had my entire faith in God in question. Not by anyone else, but by myself. The accusations I had faced in "band practice" the previous night had offended me so deeply, I was to the point of wanting nothing to do with Christianity anymore. I found myself silently hating every word the pastor spoke, accusing him in my mind of lying, of brainwashing, of decieving people.

I really, really started to understand and agree with everyone who had accused Christians of being hypocrites, brainwashers, and blind followers. It became clear to me that, depending on how you want to look at things, anything can seem to be entirely true or entirely a lie. How do we know the bible is God's word? Historical records and science definitly seem to point in that direction from what I've studied, but it really is a matter of faith.

I found it very disturbing to ponder the fact that anyone and everyone I know could be lying to me, about anything. Scary, is it not? That all we know is either learned from personal experience within the limitations and flaws of our own minds, or from the teachings of others who have experienced the exact same struggle.

So where is this all going, you may ask? Well, oddly enough, almost nowhere. Or into a whole new understanding, depending on what I do next.

See, immediately after the bible study, said pastor and long time friend of mine came up to me and asked me bluntly, "How are you and God doing?"

Right there, my pride and questioning completely dissolved. It was like having a huge fight with your mother as a child, telling her that you hate her, and then realizing one hour later how much you loved and needed her.

I realized God's love for me all over again. My ugly pride ceased to be my shield, and I felt humbled and reminded of who I was.

As of that time, I'm increasing my prayer at band practice, I'm reading my bible daily, and most importantly, I'm talking with God again and actually listening this time, because judging by the many years I've known him, he never lies.

Monday, December 10, 2007

It aint easy.

Not pimping. No, trying to be a cold-hearted atheist (jerk).

I've recently taken a few leaps in the direction I consider to be "good"; career choices that will present me with the opportunity to do some real good in the world. No, I'm not joining the Peace Corps.

Good.

Over time, I've come to realize the term in itself means almost everything this world has to offer, while simultaneously being an absolute joke. Every last person in the world is presented with a number of options as to what makes them happy, and "good" certainly is an optional selection. Wealth (subsequently, good health, heh) comes independently of character:alignment.
Even then, it's a subjective matter. Many people could tell you exactly what they believe to be the start and stop of what good is. There are just as many others who couldn't distinguish "good" from selfishness.

It rather upsets me when I consider how many (many) people believe their purpose in life is to consume, to waste away the world. That once they're stuffing their face with some pudding (:) they've earned their place in this world.

On this subject (and a few others) I've come to piece together is that intent means absolutely nothing. To want to do good, to even think well of good acts, it means absolutely nothing. To reward good deeds and to commit them, that's what counts. Basically, I need to get off my tail. And am doing so... sorta. At this moment, I'm actually twiddling my thumbs waiting for papers to go through here and there, for computers to "think", and for (hopefully) a trio of 7's to line up.

To those whom it may concern: If I come across as someone who's put more thought into what constitutes the world he lives in (thusly is more prepared to do good, at all costs), give me C-CSPA.
If I strike you as mentally unstable/a liability, give me AGA. Please.

By the way: Hi, I'm Joe (Ether(Fox) works great/better even). My middle name is Rude, and thank you Salty for letting me be a part of the IS Project.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Apathy and Jet Propulsion

*blows off the dust*

It's been awhile since my last post. Sorry, chilluns. I blame school.

On that note, why do you suppose they're called scapegoats? If I wanted to 'scape from something, I certainly wouldn't be grabbin' my saddle and lookin' for the nearest goat. Still, I suppose scape-dragon, scape-war-moose, or scape-rocket-powered-pterodactyl don't quite have the same ring to them. (If I ever start a (second) band, I'm definitely calling it Rocket Powered Pterodactyl.)

School's almost out for me--one more week. That's one assignment and three tests, only one of which is cumulative, I think. I'm pretty happy about that. This semester has seen me stoop to some pretty low depths of scholastic ineptitude, and I've done much I'm not proud of. Er, of which I am not proud.

It's almost Christmas! (It deserved a second go. :-) )


Exhibit A (which I drew--the rocket, not the pterodactyl):